ME, MYSELF, AND I—ON DISPLAY

Recently, following the death of my brother, my only sibling, I had to go through my parents’ home in Illinois. Bro had continued to live in this home, the final resident of the place I referred to as “The House That Time Forgot” (THTTF). Despite the oppressive heat and humidity of a Chicago summer, I forced myself to make my way through the musty rooms of THTTF. One reason for this moniker is that unbeknownst to me, living in another state, many basic upkeep functions of the building had been slighted or utterly ignored. THTTF wasn’t exactly the type of home displayed on A&E’s Hoarders, yet it soon became obvious that all the tales I had been told by Bro regarding his work in keeping up the house were far from factual. I wondered what he really had done in the interim years between my mother’s passing and his. I could tell that he spent an inordinate amount of time reliving the past, not just his past but our past, in fact, the past of everyone’ who had inhabited or visited THTTF over 60+ years.

Looking out the windows at the derelict landscaping brought back a flood of memories and made me feel that I was aging rapidly on the spot. I suppose the most curious idea that churned around in my sweating head was why Bro chose to retain certain items of historical family interest.. In almost every room were tokens or symbols of his personality, his own reflected image in the world, his sense of self, of personal importance. These tokens must have been considered somewhat sacred since he had lived a relatively reclusive life. Oddly, the things I imagined he would have vested with value were instead covered in dust and stacked in corners like cords of firewood.

Homes are where we live but workplaces . . . …hmm, workplace are where we must spend most of the day. After reflecting on Bro’s tokens, the insight came to me: Taking note of co-workers’ tokens—the items that practically scream “this is who I am,” “this is what I find important,” “this is how I will interact with you”—could make teamwork easier and even be valuable in addressing in-house dilemmas. An example that comes to mind is one shared recently at a professional conference dealing with workplace investigations (which I also perform). The trainer explained that in the course of his investigation involving a series of thefts, his standard procedure included observing employees’ workstations. One employee proudly displayed a photo of a party scene in which she and friends were obviously enjoying a particular illegal substance that would be too costly for the employee to afford on her salary. Very shortly after making this observation, the investigator brought the search for the workplace thief to a successful conclusion.

The lesson? Get to know your fellow workers better by observing and engaging them about their tokens. If tokens are important enough to be displayed, they are imbued with meaning. Once you understand those meanings, you will have a much better idea of what is important to people—how they embrace, fight, or flee the world. Since knowledge is power, understanding the meaning of tokens and choices will give you insights about how to engage successfully with others and to resolve conflicts that arise. Being perceived as a resolver of conflict gives YOU power.

Duct Tape and the Workplace

Duct tape was originally developed during World War II (in 1942) as a water resistant sealing tape for ammunition cases. The name "duct tape" came from its use on heating and air conditioning ducts….its strength, low cost, and remarkable versatility make it a household staple throughout North America and Europe for temporary repairs and general-purpose use. It would be fair to say that good ol’ duct tape is hard to live without it. The practicality of duct tape is widely accepted by handymen and the "fixit-challenged" alike. Basically, it’s the place to start when one has to make hasty repairs while waiting for a replacement part or finding time to do the full repair job properly. Duct tape is Step One in how far one must go to correct a problem, damaged system or unstable part... numero uno in a toolbox (after the pliers, of course).

So, what’s numero uno in the workplace toolbox? What keeps things together and working? My opinion?…courtesy and good manners. Serendipitously, as I was typing away at this, I noticed Rebecca R. Hastings had just penned a recent article for SHRM Magazine entitled Clear Expectations Can Prevent Incivility, Experts Say. Ms. Hastings writes that toxic behavior can spread with viral speed. Once identified, both employee and management behavior needs to be assessed for how it affects not only those who do the work but the amount of work completed, the pride with which one produces the work and the very quality of the work itself. When necessary, civility can be taught to those who are lacking in such skill. All behavioral complaints regardless of how insignificant they may sound must be taken seriously and treated immediately. The employing company has the responsibility of coaching when necessary and applauding when pleased with appropriate co-worker behavior. Alphas will still be alphas without a strident demeanor or withering comment to a subordinate. I must confess one of the things I love best about British television is the fact that there is still use of the classic power class language at play in much of the dialogue. A boss will glance piercingly at an underling and say in an ominous tone: “a word, please, _________” rather than “hey, get your butt in here!” True, in both instances the powerless employee knows there may be hell to pay but at least the tone is civil. Delivery of admonishment is often dark but not purposefully ill-mannered.

So, ultimately, good manners and treating others as one would like to be treated (just like Mom used to drill into us) is the duct tape that holds together a work unit, its production quality and the richness of an organization’s good reputation.

Prevention: Brush fires in the Office

I never fail to be amazed when a company, weakened from a recent bout of legal action, drags their collective tootsies in failing to set up a prevention program.

Wouldn’t most people agree that prevention is a far better idea than treatment, whether in medicine or business? Let me tell you a story…
Setting: a non-profit organization with employees in various locations, totaling 50-60 at any given time and primarily serving lower socio-economic demographic.

Management: Executive Director, Director of Finance and Director of Fund Raising, administrative staff, accounting staff, remote managers and their staff.

Recent History: the Human Resources office has been dissolved with the advent of outsourced benefits, training and misc. functions previously attributed to the HR role. The “savings” gained by no longer financing on-site HR was diverted into more robust fund raising efforts.

Right about the time the economy started sliding precariously down, sideways and in circles, our sweet little non-profit suffered an even more intimate blow of some magnitude.

One bright and sunny Sunday morning, one of our non-profit’s longer-term employees (with the company 3+ years) tepidly steps forward, to a member of her employer’s Board of Directors. This board member just happens to attend employee’s church. In a moment of contriteness, which came upon employee after a particularly inspiring sermon on the subject of personal responsibility to oneself and one’s neighbors, employee bends the ear of board member about “things” at work that have been making employee uncomfortable for some time.

The subject matter of employee’s confession ranges from simple yet distracting to complex and costly. As more and more details emerge, board member discovers enough information to pretty much ruin the rest of a bright and sunny Sunday.

Poor board member also has a full time profession… but, the bell has been rung and board member must now decide not just about the ring but also the echo.

Why wasn’t a report of “things” made long ago to those in charge? Company history strongly suggests a kill-the-messenger mentality on the part of those in seats of power. Remote management has not been monitored in some time and policy enforcement is lax at best. The list of “things” is never short in these instances. Generally, the confessor goes away feeling very purged and relieved while the object of the confessor’s blood-letting is trying to figure out how to mop up the mess…where to start!

So what were employee’s options (prior to the stirring sermon)? Hmm, could have put in a telephone call to the company’s HR Consulting Services, a phone that rings in suburban Dayton, Ohio. Alas, the employer is located in Colorado. Employee is not the least bit concerned that labor laws differ from state to state but more worried there is not a real, live human (attached to a name) to speak with, a name the employee can jot down and talk to over and over if need be. Dealing with a consulting service can prove effortless or it can mean repeating one’s story four times to four different people yet not feeling any resolution. For a workplace issue, is there any “there”, there? Employee’s boss does not “do” bad news well. It was not surprising therefore when employee discovered fellow parishioner served on the employer’s Board of Directors - finally some relief in a tight situation!

What next?

* Investigation
* Personnel placed on leave of absence (will they ever be seen again?)
* Bad publicity
* Organizational shake-ups
* General widespread stress and chaos accompanied by rumors, speculation and poor productivity from employees (who may also be madly searching through old emails for anything perceived as incriminating).

Where does Prevention fit? After the dust settles and employees once again know who is filling which job post, establish a third-party neutral information-center, a first line of defense, a safe place for anyone to tell all without worry or fear of retaliation. Conduct a thorough policy and procedure audit to find out what, if anything is working.

Brush fires are easier to extinguish and control than forest fires. When employees can’t sleep at night and feel uncomfortable coming to work, you’re way beyond asking for input on a survey.

No Wonder I Have A Headache

Scanning through the latest issue of a professional newsletter, I was fascinated to read about studies showing how our brain exhibits differing biological responses based on what we perceive is “fair” or “equitable.” Seems that neuroscience has been interested in examining the relationship between brain activity and perceived fairness. It’s true - if something is perceived long enough it becomes reality. Scientists set up “games” to test their theories and were amazed to confirm the reward areas of the brain were stimulated during a perceived condition of fairness. Anyway, the whole point of the story was to illustrate how working with a conflict resolution specialist might help maintain some sort of emotional equilibrium.

Maybe this is how the idea of the village elder (or witch doctor) came into anthropological popularity. Someone had to take the reins during volatile situations of group conflict. As long as all parties felt that the elder or neutral was acting in the best interest of the group and being above all – fair, people got through the squabbling and screaming and maybe even some fighting to get on with their lives. Perhaps along that line of thought, certain people are drawn to the field of conflict resolution. Acting as a guiding force for agreement among disputing parties may also create a similar sense of contentment/reward feelings in the brain of the mediator. That can’t be bad. I know from personal experience that helping by guiding others to communicate their way to an agreeable solution is a truly enriching feeling.

Recalling my own experiences (even back to childhood) I felt calmer, lighter in spirit and less “down” when someone showed empathy for me, whatever my current reason for being blue. If I felt I was being treated fairly and didn’t have to worry about some school bully or workplace psycho, I felt stronger and more able to stand up to whomever for whatever reason. Seems to me that while the human brain’s various amazing functions are being discovered daily, we will soon be able to pinpoint exactly what section controls what kind of emotional response. I know one place for sure that could benefit from an atmosphere where everyone feels like they’d get a fair shake, and that would be where people go to work every day. With all of those “contentment neurons” lighting up all over the place, you’d think a lot of work would get done in record time with everybody happily humming away.

Add to that merry thought, neuroscientists have published findings, which encourage the antiquated habit of napping. That’s right, a lil’ snoozie midday has proven to boost memory, comprehension and creativity. OK, perhaps not at your desk or on the break room table, but why not in your car with the seat in full recline. Keep a yoga mat and blanket in your drawer. Just that little bit of refreshment could make the world seem like a kinder, fairer place.